Some of my new subscribers do not know what happened to Christopher 3 years ago today.  This is what I have on my eBay "about me" page: 

Christopher was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoblastic Lymphoma on August 10, 2005.  On August 26th, a pharmacist delivered another patient's chemotherapy to the floor that Christopher was on.  Neither the nurse or Dr. checked the chemotherapy when administering it to Christopher.  He was transferred to Stanford Hospital that evening and passed away 3 days later.  Prior to passing away, he became paralyzed from the feet up.  He was told that he was going to succumb to this error that was made to him.

If you "Google" Christopher Wibeto you can read stories about the "error" that took my nephew's life.

Here is a letter that I wrote to Christopher on the 1 year anniversary of his passing:

Dear Christopher,

     I cannot believe that one year has gone by already.  How did I get through the year without dying of grief?  I had a perpetual frown on my face for the first few weeks after your passing.  But I'm sure you knew that. 

     I was so thrilled when your parents asked me to be your Godmother.  You were my first Godchild and I took my role very seriously since it was not in God's hands to give me children; my Godchildren would be the only children I would have. 

     I loved it when it was your birthday and before opening a card from me you would always say, "I know who this is from".  Only because I was the only one that would still call you, "Critter".  I remember asking you when you were playing baseball if it was ok if I called you "Critter" while you were up to bat.  You had no problem with that at all.

     I used to tease you that you would be at the altar at your wedding, waiting for your bride to come to you and you would have your arm stretched out so someone could scratch it.  It soothed you so much to have your arms scratched.  I usually didn't do the arm scratching when you were younger but I am so glad I was able to do it while you were in the hospital.

     I remember when you took me to my Dr's appointment to have my staples removed after I had my hysterectomy.  I told you to walk me to the Dr's office and have a seat in the waiting room.  I told you that other women there would think your "wife or girlfriend" was pregnant and wouldn't they be surprised to see a 42 year old woman walking out and you going home with me!

     Grandma always said that when she would ask you to do something for her, that you never hesitated.  You were always willing to help out.  You and Brianna did such a good job of taking care of Grandma when she was going through her chemotherapy and even when she was diagnosed as being terminal.  I'm sure Grandma has already thanked you for that.  And I'm sure you are making her laugh, just like you did before she passed away.

     Christopher, don't worry, your memory will always be alive.  Jessica, Matthew, Pierce and Peyton will never forget you.  Every time Peyton & Matthew see my tattoo, they kiss it.  I'm even teaching Taylor to kiss the Superman tattoo and she knows that her oldest "Godbrother" Chris will always be with her too.  I am teaching Taylor that you are her Angel.  Critter, you would have LOVED Taylor.  She is so stinkin' funny.  I'm sure you would have been proud to call her your "Godsister".

     I felt so bad the day that the "mistake" was made because I hadn't been by the hospital in two days to see you because I wasn't feeling good.  Your mother felt sick too on that Friday but amazingly after the mistake was made, we were just fine.  I truly believe that we were just not meant to be at the hospital at that time.

     I'm sorry that I wasn't able to spend more time with you when you were at Stanford but Critter, I just didn't want to see you that way.  I wanted to remember you the way you were.  I was also grateful that you didn't linger on after the mistake was made.   

     Christopher, there are so many things that I miss about you.  I miss putting my arm around you so you can give me a hug.  I miss your humor, your knowledge of music or the latest fad, our discussions about MTV shows and yes, Critter, I even miss your foul mouth.  I wasn't too thrilled when you would curse at your home but I know you only did that to get a rise out of everyone.

     I know that you are always with me, but dammit, I want to see you.  After Grandma passed away I said to myself that I didn't want to live through anyone else in our family dying.  If I had to be first to go, so be it.  Who knew that just three years later you would be gone?

     I truly believe that one day I will see you again Critter.  I love and miss you Critter.  Until we meet again.....

Janice

Christopher is on the front page of www.mem.com today.
Please stop by and visit.

It seems that I am always thanking you, my Xanga family for your support, love and prayers.  Your comments have truly comforted me at this time.  I miss my little girl so much.  <sigh>

"True friends are the people who are there for you unconditionally.  They are the people who never question you and support you no matter what the circumstances are.  They are the people worth living for."
---Unknown

My little girl Mandy was put down a little after 5:00 p.m. today.  The tumors were growing too fast, one of them was about ready to burst and she was sleeping quite a bit.  I held her when she took her last breath and my friend Denise was with me when she went to heaven to be with my parents and Christopher.

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MY SWEETHEART:

• 
  
  I adopted Mandy on August 18, 2001.


• 
  
  She was my shadow.


• 
  
  She was ALL girl.


• 
  
  She would prance when she walked.


• 
  
  When I was sitting on my bed she would walk by me and give me a random kiss on my arm.


• 
  
  I loved it when she would sigh (she did that before the vet took her to the back room to put the IV in her).


• 
  
  She was a "special needs" dog.


• 
  
  She was debarked, had 15 teeth pulled and needed to be potty trained when I adopted her.


• 
  
  She would cower when I would bend down to pet her.


• 
  
  She was a mama - She was a babymaker at her first home and when she couldn't have anymore babies, she was given up for adoption.


• 
  
  She would put Chili & Johnny Rotten in their place. 


• 
  
  She was the queen of the castle, for sure.


• 
  
  She just wanted to be near me at all times.


• 
  
  She let me hold her while she fell asleep in my arms last night.


• 
  
  She was definitely a Mama's girl.


• 
  
  I told her two days ago that my parents and Christopher would take good care of her.


• 
  
  She put her head on my chest and went quickly after the Dr. gave her the injection.  <sigh>

My heart is broken but I know I will see her again one day...................

This photo was taken two days ago.  Chili and Mandy were laying back to back and I thought it was so sweet (Chili is on the left, Mandy on the right):

July 29th.........Hmm...what is there to say about this date??  Actually, it is a date that I will never forget.  It started 6 years ago when we found out on this day that our mother was terminal.  Here is the letter that I sent to family members (that lived out of town) and to friends:

To my friends..........

 

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I write this letter to all of you.  My mother found out yesterday that there is nothing more they can do for her at this time.  As you all know she has been battling ovarian cancer for the last 3 1/2 years.  She has gone through five treatments of chemotherapy and now she is suffering from jaundice due to the tumors surrounding her liver causing the bile duct to be blocked.  If she was to be given another treatment of chemotherapy she would not be able to flush it through her liver because of the tumors.

 

She has accepted this news and she knew that it was coming because of the way she has been feeling.  She is not in pain at this time (thankfully), she has good days and bad days....on her bad days she is nauseated and VERY tired.  Actually, she is tired quite often.  She is not bedridden but it does take her a while to get around due to her weakness.

 

My brother asked her yesterday if she is afraid and she said that the only thing she is afraid of is the suffering. 

 

What I need from all of you is prayers, prayers and more prayers. 

 

Thanks so much in advance.

 

Janice

___________________________________________________

 

Mom faced this battle with great dignity and amazing strength.  She planned her own funeral down to which rosary she wanted to take with her.  She was able to say good-bye to her brothers and sister and to have some serious talks with a couple of my siblings.  She divided up her jewelry with my sisters and myself, telling stories about each piece of jewelry.  She was terminal for two months until she passed away on September 30, 2002.  Mom did say, "Hello" to someone before she took her last breath.  Her passing was very peaceful.  We didn't even know she had taken her last breath until the nurse came in to take her pulse. 

___________________________________________________

 

SO, now onto three years later.  Here is a repost from July 29, 2005:

 

Friday, July 29, 2005

Gosh, it's amazing how one day you are writing a story about your friend to celebrate her birthday and the next day I am asking my Xanga family and friends for prayers.  I was on my way home yesterday after work and my sister Debbie called me crying.  She was on her way to the hospital because her son Chris (aka Critter) was there with my BIL at Urgent Care.  Let me start at the beginning of the week.  Debbie took Critter to the hospital on Sunday because he was dizzy and had a hard time breathing.  The Dr took some blood tests, gave him some meds for what, I DON'T know and sent him on his way.  He has been dizzy all week and didn't go to work at all the entire week. When Critter was eating yesterday he had a hard time swallowing so my BIL picked him up and took him to the Urgent Care at the hospital.  They took an X-Ray and found that he has a mass in his chest.  They had to fit him in to the schedule to do a CT scan and as of right now, they are still not sure what is wrong with him.  They are saying that it could be lymphoma or some type of fungal infection.  They were not able to do a certain test because his kidneys are not filtering properly.  Critter is 21 y/o and he is my first Godson.  He is quite the character.  When he was being brought into the CT scan area yesterday he reached around the wheelchair and flipped us all off.  THAT is his sense of humor.  He did get all of us to laugh and that is what he does all the time.  What I am asking from my Xanga friends and family is to please say a prayer for Chris/Critter.  Pray for my sister, BIL, nieces and nephews.  Gosh, it's just amazing that your life can turn upside down in a matter of minutes.  Thanks in advance for the prayers.  Oh yes, where did I go after going to the hospital you might wonder?  To Denise's house, of course.   ___________________________________________________

 SO, you all know how that story ended.  <sigh>

 

While on our vacation we went to the base where my bro-in-law Sam works.  We went to the military store and I found a U.S. Marine Corp button for my coworker Chris who is a VERY proud Marine and who was also in the Vietnam War.  When I gave Chris the button, he shared a story with me (which he also shared with the entire office yesterday afternoon too).  Here it is:

 

To all:

I want to share with you the most memorable anniversary dinner that my wife and I have ever experienced.

Monday, July 14th was our 35th wedding anniversary.  We were busily spending the day with contractors working on some home improvements around our house and by early evening my wife, Roberta, and I were too exhausted to prepare dinner.  Out to the Olive Garden Restaurant on Blossom Hill Road we went at 9pm.

As we were walking from our car I noticed a young couple getting out of their car and as we went into the restaurant I held the door for them.  As my wife and I sat waiting for a table I casually noticed the couple were in their early twenties and the young man was clean-cut with a "high and tight" haircut.  In a few minutes we were seated in one room of the restaurant and several minutes later the young couple were seated in an adjacent room.  Nothing unusual up to this time.

As our dinner progressed I looked around and once or twice I noticed that either the young woman or the young man would look across the room at us.  Not staring, but looking.  After a good meal our server went about cleaning off our table.  A few minutes later she returned to us as I expected to receive the check.  She quietly told my wife that our complete meal had been already paid for.  We thought at first that we had misheard.  We hadn't said anything about this being our anniversary to anyone on the staff.  Our server explained that the young couple in the other room had paid for our dinner.

We looked over to see if somehow we had not recognized them from some previous time or place, but no, we did not know them.  So, confused and curious, we quickly got up and went over to them.  This is where I get choked up in recounting this evening.

We walked up to the couple and asked if they had in fact paid for our dinner and they said they had.  I asked the young man why.  He stood up and explained that when we were walking in and I had held the door for them, that he had noticed my cap, my Vietnam Veteran cap.   And he saw the Eagle, Globe and Anchor pin on my cap that identified me as a Marine.  He stood there and looked at me squarely and said he was also a Marine, that he was just home on leave and recently returned from Iraq. During the next several minutes I know I shook his hand at least three times, exchanged a Semper Fi more than once.  We talked for a few minutes, he was there with his fiance for dinner, he was stationed with the 1st Battalion, Fifth Marines in Camp Pendleton, he was awaiting orders to return overseas.

My wife and I walked out of the restaurant in awe.  I have heard it spoken of, I have seen it with others, now I had experienced it.  Semper Fidelis, Always Faithful.  Once a  Marine, Always a Marine.  A Brotherhood.  A bond that reaches across generations.

To any Marines,

Semper Fi

Chris
___________________________________________

What an awesome story, eh??  What a wonderful couple to do that for Chris and his wife.  Here is the pin that I bought Chris (he was wearing it!): 

 

 

Now then....onto watching my 60+ hours of recorded programs!!  You all have a wonderful Wednesday and be sure to hug your families!

 

Freedom is not free, but the U.S. Marine Corps will pay most of your share.
Ned Dolan

HOWDY HO FOLKS, I'M HOME!!  --  Finally!!!

Whew, what a trip it was!

Vacation Highlights:

• We reunited with family and friends


• We saw the beautiful states of Tennessee and Arkansas (besides the states that we have already been through:  Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma and eww...Texas)


• Made new friends at the conference in Nashville


• Found out where my "boyfriend" Trace Adkins lives!


• Spent lots of money on souveniers and jewelry (yeah!)


• Made new memories with my sis Debbie and brother-in-law Robin


• Visited our sister Nini in Texas.  Nini took us to one of her favorite bargain shopping store (clearance rack at Dillards) which Debbie and I found another Dillards in Arizona!  SCORE!


• Took a ton of photos.  AS if that was a surprise!


• Found out that next years Compassionate Friends conference will be on the WEST COAST in Portland, Oregon!  Which is only 10 hours and 22 minutes away from my home.  Driving, of course. 

I was very nervous to come home and to see what shape Mandy was in.  My friend Denise had been coming to my house to check on my children and she did keep me updated as to how they were doing.  She did say that when she would pick Mandy up she could tell that the tumors were growing.  SO, when I got home on Friday night the first thing I did was pick up Mandy and cry.  The tumors are indeed getting quite large.  But it is amazing that Mandy is doing well.  Eating and taking care of business thankfully. 

Then only thing I did yesterday was RELAX!  Well, I did have to go to my 30th (YIKES) high school reunion last night.  Denise and I went together and had a good time.  The last reunion went to was 10 years ago so it was nice to see some our former classmates.  We didn't have too good of a showing though as we graduated with about 300 people and only 80 showed up.

I've got to go to work tomorrow and I can only imagine how many e-mails I'll have after being gone for 11.5 work days!  Thank God Monday's are kind of quiet.

Tomorrow is my friend Denise's birthday......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENISE!!

I will stop by to visit all of you tomorrow and I'll post my vacation posts sometime this week.  You all have a Happy Monday and be sure to hug your families!

Yep, I will be on my way to Nashville, Tennessee tomorrow after work.  YEAH!!

Vacation here we come!  It looks like my brother Donald will be hitching a ride with us to New Mexico.  We'll pick him up in Las Cruces on the way home.  He'll be there for almost two weeks.  It will be a relaxing vacation for him!  NOT for us!  Here is our itinerary:

• Thursday, 7/10 - Leave SJ, stay overnight in Tehachapi, CA


• Friday, 7/11 - Drive to Gallup, NM - Visit with High School friend Carol for a little while.  Then head to my mother's hometown and stay with aunt Rosemary.  She is THE best cook in town!


• Saturday, 7/12 - Go to Santa Fe to visit with Great Aunt Emma.  Dinner later at my cousin Carol's house.


• Sunday, 7/13 - Visit with Uncles Bobby & Albert (and families).


• Monday, 7/14 - Leave Mom's hometown, drive to Oklahoma City to see the Murrah Federal Building Memorial.  Then drive to Van Buren, Arkansas to spend the night there.


• Tuesday, 7/15 - Drive to Memphs, TN.  Do touristy stuff!


• Wednesday, 7/16 - Go to Graceland to have breakfast with Elvis.  Then head to Nashville.


• Thursday, 7/17 - Country/Western stars home tour.  Then do touristy stuff.


• Friday, 7/18 - Sunday, 7/20 - Compassionate Friends Conference.


• Sunday, 7/20 - After doing the 2 mile walk, we will drive to Dallas, TX to meet our sis Nini there.  We'll spend the night in Dallas.


• Monday, 7/21 - SHOPPING with our sis Nini, then lunch with my former coworker Dianne.  She now lives in the Dallas area.  Drive to San Angelo to Nini's house.


• Tuesday, 7/22 - Most likely MORE shopping with sis Nini!  Then a Cookie Lee party at Nini's house.  (Debbie sells Cookie Lee jewelry).  Possibly karaoke after the party.


• Wednesday, 7/23 - Up in the air, visiting, shopping with Nini?  Anything goes!


• Thursday, 7/24 - Leave San Angelo, heading to Arizona but on the way picking up our brother Donald in Las Cruces, NM.  Spending the night somewhere in Arizona.


• Friday, 7/25 - Arizona to San Jose!  Woo Hoo!  By this day I will be ready to be home and see my babies.

And that my friends, is my vacation!  I'll have my laptop with me and will check in every now and then.  You all take care and as always, be sure to hug your families!

Whew, what a weekend!!  The 4th of July picnic was a success!  We had 77 people there.  Yes, I counted!  Pierce, my Godson Chris and I got there at 7:30 a.m.  Wendy, Jessica and Matthew met us there after picking up breakfast for the group.  After hanging up the flags, we hung out at the playground.  While we were there, a handful of raindrops fell from the sky.  WHAT?!  On the 4th of July?!  THAT was highly unusual for this area!  Thankfully it was just like I said, "a handful of drops".  The weather was perfect the rest of the day, it didn't get too terribly hot at all.

Chris asked if he could listen to his iPod in my car and I said that he could.  For some reason he tried to start up the car and it was DEAD.  Yep, my battery died.  VERY weird. 

I brought some sidewalk chalk for the children to play with in the morning and look at what my Godson Chris drew:

I think it's a pretty good likeness of Christopher.  Chris is so talented.

Random photos:

Auntie Janice, Pierce, Matthew & Jessica:

My brother's girlfriend's grandson Aidan.  He was checking out a QVC bubble machine that Nini bought for the children:

My brother Richard and his son Nick:

My Godchildren Chris and Giada.  Once Giada started whimpering Chris immediately handed her off!

Jenny, Jessica and Denise:

Sue, her daughter Kari and grandbabies Knico, Heaven and Giada:

After we eat our lunch we take a walk on the walkway over an expressway near the park.  We gather the flags that were on the cyclone fence and wave them like fools, cheering on the cars below us that honk.

My sis Nini and Jessica:

My sis Debbie and Matthew:

And now for the grand finale.....a video of the walk (sorry, it's a bit choppy because I was walking on the walkway thing trying to get everyone in the video):

Sorry Bonnie, you don't hear my voice on this video.  One of these days you just might!

We usually take a group photo on the walkway but being there were too many people on the bridge, we did it on the grass:

That's the most people that we've ever had on "the walk"!

Here are my SIL Jennifer, Pierce, Peyton, bro Daniel and Matthew:

Since we were all together, I think it was my sis Debbie that thought it would be a good idea to do a group photo of the seven of us siblings.  Back row - Nini, Debbie and myself.  Front row:  David, Daniel, Richard and Donald:

THAT was the 4th of July.  Kari (Sue's daughter) asked me where I watch fireworks at.  Ha ha...what a joke!  I'm too pooped to stay up THAT late!  I didn't get home from the picnic until 6:30 p.m.!  I was sawing logs before the first firecracker was lit!  Zzzz..............

On Saturday I bought a new battery for my car and then went to the grocery store.  Later that afternoon we all met at my sis Debbie's house for a BBQ.  No, I didn't take ANY photos at all.  I was burnt out from taking 250+ photos at the picnic!

On Sunday after meeting my family for breakfast, my sis's, Sue and I went shopping!  I got some new clothes for my vacation.  Woohoo!!  We had a good day but again, I'm pooped!  I'm going to hit the sack early tonight.  This is a VERY short week as my vacation starts at 12:00 p.m. on Thursday.  YEAH!!  More on the itinerary later. 

You all have a great week and be sure to hug your families!

You don't choose your family.  They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. 
~Desmond Tutu

God Bless America!

Thank God for all of the men and women in the military fighting for our Independence.

I hope you are all doing well.  Besides it being the 4th of July, it's FRIDAY!!  Woo hoo! 

I had the photos below taken earlier last month.  Peyton had a bit of an attitude because he did not want to take his shoes and socks off.  Little sh*t!

Jill asked how my children were doing.....thankfully they are doing good.  Mandy is still doing well, not showing signs of slowing down at all.  I have kept Chili's lampshade on him so he doesn't bite at his "lick granuloma".  That is healing well.  Thank you for asking, Jill! 

I have not packed ONE item yet for our trip.  We are leaving in less than one week.  YIKES!! 

GREAT NEWS:  My sis Nini and her husband Sam are here from Texas for the long weekend.  YEAH!  Tomorrow we are getting together for our annual 4th of July picnic.  Pics later!  It will be 20 years that we have done this picnic, starting out with 6 people attending the first one!

This is for Sam who is in the Air Force: 

Pierce is here spending the night and he is a bit hyper.  It's 10:00 p.m. and he is still up making noises.  We are getting up at 6:00 a.m. so we can get to the park early to save our spot. 

I hope you all have a SAFE & SANE 4th of July.  Whatever you do, be sure to hug your families and loved ones.  Say a prayer for the troops that are not home with their families this 4th of July. 

OH yes, speaking of prayers, please say a prayer for my friend Dora's husband, Paul.  He is at Stanford right now receiving his first treatment of chemotherapy.  He will be there for one week, receiving chemo for 5 days (I believe).  Their children Abbie and Emily are in Florida spending time with Paul's parents.  It's best that they are there now while Paul is receiving his chemo.  <sigh>  Being at Stanford brought back painful memories of my Critter as we walked by areas that we were at when Christopher was there. 

It's that time again......time for my weekly Xanga entry! 

Can I get a woot woot.......tomorrow is FRIDAY!  Two weeks from TODAY I will be on my way to TENNESSEE!!  I just hope Elvis keeps the light on for me!  Debbie, my bro-in-law Robin and I will start out our vacation in New Mexico.  Our final destination will be Nashville.  We will be attending the annual Compassionate Friends Conference.  I'm really looking forward to seeing people that we met last year and also, finding out where NEXT years conference will be. They announce that on the last day of the conference.  I'm such a planner, I can't wait to find out where it will be in 2009!  I truly hope it's on the WEST coast next year.  

Most of you know that I don't fly - we will be driving to TN.  Since gas is SO expensive these days, I have put a Paypal button on my Xanga site to ask my Xanga friends for donations for our trip.  OK, I'm kidding on that one (the Paypal icon doesn't work!) but dayum, it's going to cost us an arm and a leg to pay for gasoline for this trip!
_______________________________________

Onto a really serious subject.  In my last entry I mentioned that I found more tumors on my little pooch Mandy.  I brought her to the Vet and he in fact found THREE more tumors (in addition to the 3 that I had found) on my little girl.  He told me to take her home and make her comfortable.  It's so damn heartbreaking.  While I'm on vacation my friend Denise will come over every day to check on my babies.  Even though my brother will be here with them, I will feel better knowing Denise will be checking on them too. 

I had to bring my little man to the vet last week also.  He has an owee on his back left paw.  It's called a "Lick Granuloma".  (It is a raised, usually ulcerated area on a dog's wrist or ankle area caused by the dog's own incessant licking.)  Click here to read more.

Tomorrow is my nephew Matthew's 5th Birthday!  We will celebrate on Saturday.  PAARRRTY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW!

Time to hit the sack.......I hope you all have a great weekend and as always, be sure to hug your families!