Some of my new subscribers do not know what happened to Christopher 3 years ago today.  This is what I have on my eBay "about me" page: 

Christopher was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoblastic Lymphoma on August 10, 2005.  On August 26th, a pharmacist delivered another patient's chemotherapy to the floor that Christopher was on.  Neither the nurse or Dr. checked the chemotherapy when administering it to Christopher.  He was transferred to Stanford Hospital that evening and passed away 3 days later.  Prior to passing away, he became paralyzed from the feet up.  He was told that he was going to succumb to this error that was made to him.

If you "Google" Christopher Wibeto you can read stories about the "error" that took my nephew's life.

Here is a letter that I wrote to Christopher on the 1 year anniversary of his passing:

Dear Christopher,

     I cannot believe that one year has gone by already.  How did I get through the year without dying of grief?  I had a perpetual frown on my face for the first few weeks after your passing.  But I'm sure you knew that. 

     I was so thrilled when your parents asked me to be your Godmother.  You were my first Godchild and I took my role very seriously since it was not in God's hands to give me children; my Godchildren would be the only children I would have. 

     I loved it when it was your birthday and before opening a card from me you would always say, "I know who this is from".  Only because I was the only one that would still call you, "Critter".  I remember asking you when you were playing baseball if it was ok if I called you "Critter" while you were up to bat.  You had no problem with that at all.

     I used to tease you that you would be at the altar at your wedding, waiting for your bride to come to you and you would have your arm stretched out so someone could scratch it.  It soothed you so much to have your arms scratched.  I usually didn't do the arm scratching when you were younger but I am so glad I was able to do it while you were in the hospital.

     I remember when you took me to my Dr's appointment to have my staples removed after I had my hysterectomy.  I told you to walk me to the Dr's office and have a seat in the waiting room.  I told you that other women there would think your "wife or girlfriend" was pregnant and wouldn't they be surprised to see a 42 year old woman walking out and you going home with me!

     Grandma always said that when she would ask you to do something for her, that you never hesitated.  You were always willing to help out.  You and Brianna did such a good job of taking care of Grandma when she was going through her chemotherapy and even when she was diagnosed as being terminal.  I'm sure Grandma has already thanked you for that.  And I'm sure you are making her laugh, just like you did before she passed away.

     Christopher, don't worry, your memory will always be alive.  Jessica, Matthew, Pierce and Peyton will never forget you.  Every time Peyton & Matthew see my tattoo, they kiss it.  I'm even teaching Taylor to kiss the Superman tattoo and she knows that her oldest "Godbrother" Chris will always be with her too.  I am teaching Taylor that you are her Angel.  Critter, you would have LOVED Taylor.  She is so stinkin' funny.  I'm sure you would have been proud to call her your "Godsister".

     I felt so bad the day that the "mistake" was made because I hadn't been by the hospital in two days to see you because I wasn't feeling good.  Your mother felt sick too on that Friday but amazingly after the mistake was made, we were just fine.  I truly believe that we were just not meant to be at the hospital at that time.

     I'm sorry that I wasn't able to spend more time with you when you were at Stanford but Critter, I just didn't want to see you that way.  I wanted to remember you the way you were.  I was also grateful that you didn't linger on after the mistake was made.   

     Christopher, there are so many things that I miss about you.  I miss putting my arm around you so you can give me a hug.  I miss your humor, your knowledge of music or the latest fad, our discussions about MTV shows and yes, Critter, I even miss your foul mouth.  I wasn't too thrilled when you would curse at your home but I know you only did that to get a rise out of everyone.

     I know that you are always with me, but dammit, I want to see you.  After Grandma passed away I said to myself that I didn't want to live through anyone else in our family dying.  If I had to be first to go, so be it.  Who knew that just three years later you would be gone?

     I truly believe that one day I will see you again Critter.  I love and miss you Critter.  Until we meet again.....

Janice

Christopher is on the front page of www.mem.com today.
Please stop by and visit.

 

It seems that I am always thanking you, my Xanga family for your support, love and prayers.  Your comments have truly comforted me at this time.  I miss my little girl so much.  <sigh>

I was preparing the Xanga entry below the day before my furry little girl died.  So without further ado, here are some photos from my vacation:

Prior to stopping at our aunt's house, we were able to visit my high school friend Carol in Gallup, NM:

Below is our only great aunt that we have left in our family:  Aunt Emma and her daughter Dolores.  Aunt Emma was so sweet when our mother was battling cancer, she would write to our mother often, supporting her in her battle. 

Below are Debie and our cousin Angelo.  Angelo fell in love with Debbie last year.  Usually I am the "babe" magnet, but not in this case:

 

Below is THE best cook in New Mexico, my Aunt Rosemary and her family:

A beautiful sunset in New Mexico:

My mother's brothers, Bobby and Albert:

Uncle Bobby's family:

Our cousins Rosalie, Jeanette, Charlotte, my sis Debbie and a goat that escaped from it's pen.  My cousin Charlotte works at a goat cheese farm and she took us for a little tour of the farm:

More goat pics:

 

 

The goats reminded me of my little girl because of the shape of their bodies.  The little ones were like Twiggy's like Mandy.  They were so cute.

 

Tonight Debbie and I are going to a PFLAG (Parents, Families/Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting.  This is our first meeting so it should be interesting. 

 

I hope you all are doing well.  I'll be by to visit your sites later.  I'm sorry I've been absent.  I'm sure you all understand.   I've got to remind myself to get rid of that doggone perpetual frown from my face.  The same one that I had when Christopher died.  <sigh>

You all have a wonderful Wednesday and be sure to hug your families.

"True friends are the people who are there for you unconditionally.  They are the people who never question you and support you no matter what the circumstances are.  They are the people worth living for."
---Unknown

My little girl Mandy was put down a little after 5:00 p.m. today.  The tumors were growing too fast, one of them was about ready to burst and she was sleeping quite a bit.  I held her when she took her last breath and my friend Denise was with me when she went to heaven to be with my parents and Christopher.

RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MY SWEETHEART:

• 
  
  I adopted Mandy on August 18, 2001.


• 
  
  She was my shadow.


• 
  
  She was ALL girl.


• 
  
  She would prance when she walked.


• 
  
  When I was sitting on my bed she would walk by me and give me a random kiss on my arm.


• 
  
  I loved it when she would sigh (she did that before the vet took her to the back room to put the IV in her).


• 
  
  She was a "special needs" dog.


• 
  
  She was debarked, had 15 teeth pulled and needed to be potty trained when I adopted her.


• 
  
  She would cower when I would bend down to pet her.


• 
  
  She was a mama - She was a babymaker at her first home and when she couldn't have anymore babies, she was given up for adoption.


• 
  
  She would put Chili & Johnny Rotten in their place. 


• 
  
  She was the queen of the castle, for sure.


• 
  
  She just wanted to be near me at all times.


• 
  
  She let me hold her while she fell asleep in my arms last night.


• 
  
  She was definitely a Mama's girl.


• 
  
  I told her two days ago that my parents and Christopher would take good care of her.


• 
  
  She put her head on my chest and went quickly after the Dr. gave her the injection.  <sigh>

My heart is broken but I know I will see her again one day...................

This photo was taken two days ago.  Chili and Mandy were laying back to back and I thought it was so sweet (Chili is on the left, Mandy on the right):